Tales from the Freak Show: Vol. 1 - Seattle Semi-Pro

So, last Thursday I had my record release party. The CD itself, Billy the Fridge's Million Dollar Fantasy Freak Show is a collection of songs I have done over the past few years as I molded myself into the person I am today. As outlandish or ridiculous as some of the concepts or ideas in the songs are, they are truly a real part of myself. I wanted that to reflect in the show itself.

About three months ago I contacted the guys at Seattle Semi-Pro about working my party with their Professional Wrestling inspired Cabaret Stage Show. As some may know, I used to be a wrestler, traveling from Canada, to the Mid-west and as far as the East Coast dozens of times, just to get some in ring action. It's always been a passion of mine and I knew I needed Seattle's tribute to the pastime on my show. Once they were on, I knew I needed it to be at King Cobra, their home venue at the time.

This turned out to be bittersweet on both accounts. Not only could this be one of Seattle Semi-Pro's last matches due to legal troubles, my Freak Show would turn out to be the second to last show ever held at King Cobra. It was an emotional send off for everybody in the room that night... for many different reasons. The SSP guys brought a completely different dynamic to my little hip-hop show... err... my Freak Show, I should say. I knew from the beginning that I wanted this night to be completely different and I think it delivered.

The four combatants in the match up turned out to be Ronald McFondle (resident molester and Capitol Hill fan favorite), Mr. Fitness (a bastion of health and obvious enemy of the fat boy lifestyle I live), Mascara Generico (a lucha libre implant from south of the border, usually one count short of a pin fall) and Kung Fu Banana (he's a banana that has mastered the art of Kung Fu, duh!). The match up was set to be a four man elimination, which would see the match continue until only one man was left unpinned.

It started out with Mascara Generico jumping from the 15 foot balcony to the stage below, crushing his opponents. Then the battle turned into a massive brawl with many double team maneuvers and reversals. It seemed with so many men on stage, it would be hard to get a decisive advantage. Then was an unfortunate turn of events for Ronald McFondle. He had competed earlier that night in a donut eating contest and had to walk out of the match due to an upset stomach. This left the other three men on their own. The crowd was hot and behind the Banana 100%, when his fruit bearing lady friend came out from the curtain to cheer him on too.

There was an unfortunate truth though. Mr. Fitness and Mascara Generico, each title holding champions in Seattle Semi-Pro, were just too much for the Banana to handle. He would suffer the first pin fall of the night, leaving Generico and Fitness in a head to head battle. At this point, the crowd began to favor Generico, with the exception of SSP announcer Evil Kimmel and Nite Owls own Gatsby (also of Cancer Rising fame). It must have been their night, because despite a strong showing from Mascara Generico, he fell victim to Mr. Fitness. I thought my night was ruined, watching the health maniac triumph amidst a celebration of lust and donuts, it just didn't seem right.

Then my hero, the Fast Food Franchise, Ronald McFondle appeared from behind the curtain, yet to have been pinned and spewed donut barf all over Mr. Fitness. This allowed Ronnie Mac the leverage he needed to apply his devastating signature maneuver and claim victory for the night. All is well in the land of debauchery, and just to signify his superiority, McFondle put Fitness face down, ass up and applied the Shocker, oh what a night! The wrestlers came ridiculously close to the turntables and even knocked over one of the stage monitors in their high impact action, but the crowd ate it all up.

In addition, Deevious Silvertonge, former Seattle Semi-Pro champion and Evil Kimmel, the outspoken jerk, that always seems to get the last word, both helped me co-host the events. They, as well as the boys that fought it out for all to see, really brought a fun and unique aspect to Billy the Fridge's Million Dollar Fantasy Freak Show. It was a perfect addition to a night filled with over-the-top excitement. SSP will never die, we will miss you King Cobra!